• Dana V. Hayes


Love is my favorite topic. Seriously! I feel there is nothing that love can't transform. We can try and fight it, hide from it, or run from it, but love wins.

As I've gotten older, it seems people view love as a chore they have to complete. They put a time limit on finding love or "the one".

Love is not just a feeling, it's a choice. Relationships take work, any relationship. You have to give what you expect, and vice versa.

Often we look for people to love us enough for us, but we have to love ourselves enough to show that we will not accept anything less.

I was just talking to my daughter about this today, because even at 6 years old I want her to understand that in order to receive love, she shouldn't have to value her self less.

The more we pour into ourselves, the more we exude the very love we deserve.

The law of attraction is real. If you don't love yourself, or have confidence in yourself, you will attract others that are the same, or maybe someone who is looking to take advantage you.

I was so amazed at how simple a concept this is, yet we all at times struggle with it.

What holds us back from giving ourselves the love and attention we need?

We have the freedom to be everything we want to, if we first believe it's true. We have the freedom to choose to say no, when saying yes means our peace will be interrupted. We have the freedom to go against the grain , if that means our wildest dreams will be realized.

It's these very choices that allow us to be open to love and life. Every personal choice is a reflection of how we value ourselves and secondly others. I usually say you can tell a lot about a person just by how they treat the people closest to them, but now I think about how they treat themselves.

If they can't value themselves, then they can't value me; and I wouldn't want them to.

Here are a few ideas on how to get back to loving you:

1. Be intentional about finding time for you. Spend quality time with your thoughts. My favorite thing to do is light some candles and soak in my tub. It might be for no more than 20 minutes, but it's just enough to get the rejuvenation i need.

2. Follow your passion, and make your passion an avenue to get out and do something that makes you smile. I recently decided to spend more time writing and sharing my poetry. Poetry was the one thing I felt I was great at, and I really enjoyed it. I find that when you neglect your passions, you can't be happy or be available to support others who are doing what they love.

3. Throw away the guilt. It's okay to enjoy you, say no, say yes, be excited, expect more, give less. We often times put more energy into what we give people and what we can't give them. As previously stated, it's okay to be selfish to maintain peace of mind. I no longer let people make me feel guilty for making choices that makes me happy.

Once loving you becomes a priority, someone else will make it one too.

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