Remnants of 34
Who knew that I would feel better at 35, than 29! My 20's, have nothing on my 30's. Not solely because of the superficial, but because of my energy, my perspective, my self-awareness.
Here's some of what #34 has left with me:
1. Loving myself enough, is living my best life.
Knowing I'm enough is going to sustain my best life. Being unapologetic about it is the ultimate freedom. Daily affirmation.
2. Multi-tasking is no longer my goal.
You heard me right! It seems like forever I had been forced fed this concept that being able to juggling all the balls, means you mastered life. Trying to be everywhere and everything at once, is exhausting. I feel that prioritizing is a better word, and more important. I'm not saying neglect life, but be more present, by giving attention and love in an organic way. Water your pots daily, and they will never go thirsty. Make time for things, before it's a necessity and nothing will ever need juggling.
3. With that being said, I'm taking perfection off the table.
Consistency is all I'm aiming for. Next!
4. Freedom lies in my truth.
My fitness journey has and continues to teach me so many life lessons. One that remains resounding is I have to be honest with myself. Prior to to my last day one, 1/7/18, I was a mess full of lies to myself. Truth is, the only thing in anyone's way is themselves. Most times, motivation is buried under the excuses we have grown accustomed to. I can't afford it, I don't have time for it, I can do it alone, I know what I'm doing already, I'm tired, I'm too old, I'm too...The list can go on and on, and the truth will remain this: Anything you really desire, you would make room and time for.
5. I have to stop making life more difficult.
I say this often, but it's a struggle. I often struggled with people pleasing guilt. Meaning, I said what I said, but then I felt bad if they had a negative reaction.
Bruh, this too is exhausting! It piggy backs on #4. When you say what you say, meaning you're being honest, anyone who requires anything less is too much work. I don't in any way mean being mean or disrespectful, but being real. Feelings are too soft these days, in world full of internet gangsters. Everyone is low-key sensitive since face to face conversations have become seldom. One wrong word in a text, and they feel some kind of way. Honesty is left to subliminal meme's. So when the truth hits in that voice to voice conversation, the reaction is often anger. How sway? More specific, if you ask me a question expect an honest answer, not one to massage your ego. If you aren't a good friend, don't expect me to smile, laugh, and talk behind your back. Expect a response that matches your energy.
6. Speaking of energy, I'm matching energy all 2019!
It's necessary. Who at this point has time sulk in negative energy with the negative Nancy's of the world?! Not me. I have no time for dream killers. It's amazing how they are always in your circle, and almost always close behind. They want to be close to see you fall. They like being a shoulder to cry on, and a mouth to blast to everyone else about it. You know these people...they often portray to have it together, but secretly despise who you are. They love to hate you. There is no explanation for this, besides the fact that your light is too bright for them. Lets commit together to being bold, bright, and a beacon of positivity. If your energy is to destroy, expect mine to be to ignore you.
7. Be faithful with the small things, in order to show God you can handle the overflow.
"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that, your strength lies."
- Mother Teresa
Baby, 34 was filled with obstacle, after obstacle. I cried, I screamed, I was ready to give up. But only for a moment. I didn't know why, but God always made a way. I had to learn to manage my money and my time, all while learning how to manage my feelings through the process. This is where my physical fitness played a huge part. I knew that my body was the vehicle to my freedom. It relieved stress, it gave me confidence in my own strength and in my body. It gave me an outlet to do what I love, which is to impact people's life positively. All while not having much. I lost a lot of weight, but couldn't buy new clothes. I felt like going places/trying new things, but I had bills to pay. But God blessed me with a body and at least $24 dollars a month to go to the gym. Me being fit will benefit my family more than any event, any clothes, any vacations. My family can hug me every night, talk to me, hold me, kiss me. We can enjoy life no matter how modest, together.
Sometimes we are blind to our wastefulness, until we can't afford to waste anything.
We, are so wasteful of our time, our bodies, our purpose. We think we have forever, we think that today won't impact tomorrow. The fact is it does, and we don't have forever.
#34 highlighted my lies. I thought I had it figured out, but now I see. Now I'm open, aware, and ready to take on #35. I'm ready for the overflow!