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  • Dana V. Hayes

Expectation Killed The Cat


When we are young we have questions about all sorts of things. we get excited about things weeks in advance, and can hardly sleep because we don't want to miss anything. We look around corners we are told not to, we are quiet when we are curious about the whisper in the next room, and we choose to experience things we are forewarned will harm us. We are born with this innate curiosity that when we are older seem to drive us insane. We become driven by curiosity turned into expectations. 

I was telling some ladies a few weeks ago that I struggle with always being in expectation mode, and what happens in this mode is I tend to get nervous or anxious about receiving things or outcomes I desire, and also about the possibility of not receiving them at all. 

I then remember that I have everything I need. I heard someone say recently that they affirm that to themselves every day, by saying:

I

HAVE

EVERYTHING 

I

NEED

Only 5 words, but so reassuring.

It's reassuring because it's rooted in Faith. It's the one statement that in a moment releases us from the pressure of our own expectations, and allows us to accept that we can only control what we can control.

Think about how many people who have “things, riches, fame” that most people deem as “everything” yet peace only comes when you are grateful  for those things in the moment. If you are always looking to receive something or feel you are not where you want to be it’s easy to get caught in an anxious spirit constantly.

If you’re only motivated by receiving the prize, then you miss the lessons needed to sustain it along the way. It should always be about the experience because in the end the experience is what you share and remember the most.

We definitely take great pride in the outcome, but that’s not what keeps us going for more. What keeps us wanting to keep going is the feeling we got along the way.

A lot of expectations come from the visuals we consume. Especially with social media, we often see the after picture, but never the before or during. We are not along for the ride, so it appears that some people just wake up like that. Yet the reality is everyone has a during phase, and no one is ever complete. Most of know this, but we become consumed with the idea of being done before we even start. We want the quick fixes, the instant success. Which leaves us with unfulfilled expectations. The key here is to change your expectations and definitions of success and accomplishments. 

Dictionary.com defines success as the following:

1. The accomplishment of an aim or purpose

2. the attainment of popularity or profit

3. A person or a thing that achieves desired aims or attains prosperity

All those definitions are true in theory, but what really matters is that you are not where you were yesterday. Also, what matters is that whatever you are reaching for is based solely on what YOU want, and what YOUR purpose is.

This is where mindset comes into play. How can you enjoy where you are if you are always expecting something in the future?  How can you become successful if you haven’t defined what that means for you.

Expectation is great, if you aren’t basing your emotions on a timeline that’s not in your control. 

So I propose we practice together thinking on what we expect to learn rather than what we expect to gain; there is a difference. This will allow us to get the results without so much focus on getting to a finish line. 

Don't allow your expectations to kill your motivation and your will to succeed by allowing it to overshadow the beauty of the moment, with the expectation of tomorrow. 

This is #WeekendISH

Nature does not hurry,

yet everything is accomplished.

-Lao Tzu


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